Do you experience difficulty making lasting changes despite your commitment to awakening to your authentic self?
Of course you do, especially if you’re trying to do it on your own, because changing is difficult. It doesn’t matter what approach you take, or which spiritual path you are traveling down, they all present challenges. Making changes in our lives require us to be strong and vulnerable, to have the courage to open up those parts of ourselves we’d rather not look at, all the while having total faith in the unknowable, unseen thing we’re moving towards. It requires that we trust when trust has often been violated or broken. It means letting go of parts of ourselves we’ve come to rely upon, even when those parts of ourselves are guarded and are no longer serving our highest good.
Taking these emotional risks can be especially hard when you don’t have a roadmap. You move through your days habitually, recreating your pain filled past which often leads you astray and keep you in separation.
Here is a simple, yet profound illustration of the process we go through when attempting to make changes in our lives:
AUTOBIOGRAPHY IN FIVE SHORT CHAPTERS
by Portia Nelson
I. I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in. I am lost … I am helpless. It isn’t my fault. It takes me forever to find a way out.
II. I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I don’t see it. I fall in again. I can’t believe I am in the same place but, it isn’t my fault. It still takes a long time to get out.
III. I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it is there. I still fall in … it’s a habit. My eyes are open. I know where I am. It is my fault. I get out immediately.
IV. I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it.
V. I walk down another street.
So, what do you do when you realize you’ve taken a wrong turn and have fallen down a deep hole?
We often make our choices unconsciously, based on learned patterns or out dated models that we’ve inherited from our families, our life experiences, and the social mores of our times. So, most of us stay stuck, feel helpless and turn towards a distraction or addictions of some sort to soothe our discomfort. Eventually however, we want to get out. How can we do this? The first step in getting out of our holes is to stop, even if feels dark and scary, and acknowledge that we are actually stuck.
Now that you’ve begun to accept you’re stuck and start to identify the story that got you there, its almost certain that the beliefs and voices you hear will be more distracting than ever, and will lead you, despite your best intentions, right back down that street and into the same hole. What do you do now?
At this point in your healing process, we start getting familiar with the deeper layers of the story, and begin discerning between the voices of the darkness (negative voices that lead you astray and generally make you feel bad), your ‘ego’ self (the desires of your self and personality), and The Divine (the sacred inner knowing that always speaks of goodness and love). Once you become familiar with each of these voices and how they impact your life, you can begin bringing more awareness into your choices. You will still be moving from habit and an unconscious investment in the story, and will certainly fall into the hole again, yet you will, with some effort, be able to get out.
You are still walking down the same street, and even though you recognize the hole, and want with everything inside you to avoid falling in the hole, it is likely you will again, fall. Luckily, you’ve gotten some perspective and will get out more easily.
Chances are, even though you’ve identified the story and the voices that lead you astray, you are still, out of habit, going to take a wrong turn, and end up going into the hole again. However, you have gained some momentum, put some distance between you and your old habits, and are replacing the old story with Divine Love and a renewed sense of self.
You’re still on the same street, but now you go around the hole.
Once you have worked for a period of time with the story and learned to turn away from voices of darkness and your ego self, you will be able to hear the voice of The Divine more clearly. The Divine qualities (peace, love, mercy, strength, etc.) will begin to fill in the hole and will give you enough inner strength to not only leave the hole you have been falling in, but will help you to sincerely heal and leave the story behind.
With a deeper connection to your Inner Truth and a deeper sense of Divine Trust and Love, you will naturally choose a different street!
Once you reach this state and have a deeper connection with the Divine realities you are naturally inclined to make better choices for yourself. You will find its safer to open your heart to love, easier to live in alignment with your goals and passions, and will discover that your days are filled with a greater sense of peace and contentment as you learn to live with the Love flowing more easily through you.
Are you ready to find and implement tools that immediately open the doors to more self and Divine Love, and make lasting change?
If so, take my hand and let me help you create a new roadmap. Through the practice of Remembrance and working with the 99 Divine Qualities, which bring us into conscious connection with the Divine, identifying the different voices and turning away from the story that leads you down those dark holes, you will experience more peace, love, mercy, justice, and freedom in your every day life.